The Fragrance of Faith
by Laura Mayfair
Summary: Laura and Kara continue to bond as Laura helps Kara feel safe and secure about having her hair cared for. (This is set in the verse of my long work in progress, "New Music.") Warning: There are some references to Kara's childhood abuse but nothing graphic or explicit. Rated T.


**Notes: **

AU. Set in **_New Music_** 'verse but this can stand on its own, too. This scene occurs shortly after Laura takes Kara into her custody as a foster parent, before the adoption is finalized. Written as a holiday wishlist gift for lanalucy. Prompt: Hands, hair, thumbs, slow / ficlets about Kara's childhood. **Warning:** There are some references to Kara's childhood abuse but nothing graphic or explicit.

Huge thank you to newnumbertwo for beta-ing this for me. :)

**The Fragrance of Faith**

Laura and Kara sat together in the kitchen of the apartment, cozily installed at the small side table. They each had a plate of waffles in front of them, drizzled with butter and warm maple syrup. For a five year old, Kara was impeccably neat. She cut her waffles slowly and carefully - with a focused kind of precision that defied her youth. She was careful with her fork and knife, meticulous in the way she wrapped both hands around her cup of milk, bringing it slowly to her lips and placing it back onto the surface of the table, ensuring that it wouldn't topple over before releasing her grasp.

Kara had been in her care for nearly a month now and she was more at ease than she had been when she had first come to stay with Laura. But she was still withdrawn at times, disengaging from her surroundings in a self-protective kind of way that made her difficult to read.

"Would you like some more milk, Kara?" asked Laura as she rose to refill her own coffee cup.

"No, thank you."

Kara was unfailingly polite and had never once said yes to any of Laura's offerings for more of anything. Laura looked forward to a time when her charge would feel relaxed and comfortable enough to accept one of her gestures. In the meantime, she'd simply keep offering. Laura smiled.

"Cheryl is coming over in a little while to wash and style my hair and we'd love it if you'd help her. And then maybe I could do yours for you if you'd let me."

Kara's brown eyes widened but she didn't say anything.

"You don't have to, honey. It will be up to you, okay?"

"Okay," said Kara quietly after a few moments of hesitation.

Kara would cuddle with Laura and had even gotten to a point where she'd shyly initiate physical affection but she hated to have her hair washed or combed. Laura had done her best to accommodate her, setting her up in the tub with the detachable shower nozzle during her baths and a shampoo and conditioner combination that wouldn't sting her eyes. But she was, for all of her maturity, a little girl - and she had trouble rinsing all of the soap out. Sometimes she'd let Laura brush her hair but more often than not she'd hide when it came time for that. Laura hoped that maybe if Kara could wash and style _her_ hair, she'd be less fearful of the process after having some degree of control over it.

_Kara wanted so much to be good enough so that she could stay with her music teacher. She worried endlessly that her mother would be coming back for her and she would be so angry for all of the things that she had confided in Laura, things that she was not supposed to tell. It didn't matter how much reassurance the adults gave her that she would be safe. Kara scrunched up the hem of her dress when she thought about it too much, a habit that created wrinkles, and wrinkles were unacceptable. Scrunching would always get her into trouble but sometimes she did it without even knowing that she did it. But Laura had never gotten angry with her, for wrinkles or for anything. Kara didn't really believe that her teacher would hurt her but sometimes her mother went through periods of calm, times that she had begun to believe that maybe it wouldn't happen again. And it was always during those times of reprieve that Socrata would strike, harsh and unexpected. So Kara had to be a little bit careful, even with Laura._

_There were many tasks that she could endure if she just steeled herself for them. But there were so many things that could go wrong with hair washing and combing - water that was too hot, eyes that had to be closed, thereby depriving her of an essential sense, hands that were too rough when she fidgeted, and the heavy, staccato sound that the brush made in her hair when her mother flicked it through the fine strands in anger - and then the accompanying pain. It was herself, really, that Kara didn't trust. She didn't think that she'd be able to sit still for Laura and she didn't want to show her what a failure she was. Kara simply couldn't bear to disappoint Laura. Laura loved her for right now, but maybe she wouldn't love her anymore if she realized all of the things that were wrong with her._

_She had to be good enough._

Cheryl arrived shortly after Laura and Kara had finished their waffles. She stomped the snow off of her boots as she entered Laura's apartment. Laura's sister shared her older sister's green eyes and fair complexion but her hair was darker. Her smile was similar though and Kara found herself smiling shyly back at her.

"Ready to help me wash Laura's hair?" asked Cheryl brightly.

Kara nodded.

"I bought a new brush and comb," explained Cheryl as she pulled them out of the small red bag that she'd brought with her, showing Kara each item in turn.. "And this is a special shampoo that helps to get rid of tangles to make the brushing easier. And it won't sting Laura's eyes. I'll show you how to hold her hair so that when we comb or brush it, it won't pull. Gods know Laura's got enough hair for two heads."

"Thanks," said Laura sarcastically.

Cheryl placed a towel at the edge of the kitchen sink so that the back of Laura's neck would be comfortable and then she dragged over a low back chair for her to sit on. Laura placed Kara's stepping stool by the sink, the one that she used in the mornings and evenings to brush her teeth at the bathroom vanity, so that she could help assist in the process of washing Laura's hair. The first thing Cheryl showed her was how to test the water to ensure that it was the right temperature - neither too hot nor too cold.

"Are her eyes closed?" asked Cheryl. They weren't.

"Close your eyes, Laura," instructed Kara.

Laura obeyed.

"If she keeps her head tipped back and we're careful, we won't get any soap in her eyes. But I have a towel handy just in case." Cheryl proceeded to wet Laura's long red hair with the water from the nozzle attached to the sink.

"Temperature okay?" asked Cheryl.

"It's perfect," said Laura. "I love this." Kara looked at her teacher's face and noted that she really did look serene with her eyes closed. A softly contented smile even played about her lips.

"Could you hand me the shampoo?" Cheryl asked Kara.

Kara leaned over and grabbed the shampoo bottle, handing it to Cheryl.

"Thanks, sweetheart. Open your hand."

Kara opened up her hand and Cheryl squirted a quarter sized drop of Winter Berry scented shampoo into her extended palm. She patiently showed Kara how to work the shampoo into a lather. Kara especially liked this part, as she and Cheryl slipped their fingers into Laura's luxurious hair, gently massaging her scalp and working the foamy lather all the way to the ends. Next came the rinsing. Cheryl showed her how to make sure that they got all the soap out. She taught Kara to wring Laura's hair out before applying the conditioner, and when she asked Kara to try it, Kara made sure that she proceeded very gently, careful not to squeeze too hard or to pull too hard.

"Does it hurt?" Kara whispered to Laura.

"Not at all." Laura hummed. "It's incredibly relaxing. I'm going to need a nap after this."

After they applied and then rinsed the conditioner out, Cheryl squeezed the excess water out of Laura's hair and then towel dried it. Laura rose and the chair was moved to the bathroom where Laura sat down for a second time so that they could comb out her hair before blow drying and brushing it. Cheryl showed Kara that if they held onto the upper portion of Laura's hair, they could run the comb through slowly - and it wouldn't pull or hurt her. Cheryl would do some and then she'd trade the comb off to Kara, until they had combed out any tangles. The blow drying came next and Kara giggled when Cheryl playfully turned the dryer on her, the warm air fanning her hair out and tickling her face.

When they were finished, Laura's copper colored hair was shiny in the light. Those long waves tumbled well past her shoulders and Kara could still smell the berry fragrance of the shampoo that they'd used. She wanted to bury her face in Laura's hair. She nearly got her wish.

"You did such a wonderful job," said Laura, beaming a warm smile at her. "Think I could get a hug?"

Kara slipped her arms around Laura as she, in turn, enfolded her into hers. She pressed her nose into the silky strands of hair that fell down Laura's shoulder, breathing in the sweetness of that wonderful fragrance and basking in the warmth of Laura's hug. Kara released a quiet little sigh that was part relief and part happiness.

She felt Laura run a hand against her hair. "Should we do yours now?" she asked softly.

Kara stiffened.

"Of course," said Laura, "I _am_ a little tired. Maybe later? How about you let me know when you want to? How does that sound?"

"Later," agreed Kara, relaxing a little.

* * *

Later came and Kara expected Laura to ask her again about doing her hair when it was time for her bath - but she didn't. She didn't appear to be angry with her either and Kara understood that her reluctance was okay with Laura. Laura simply accepted, wordlessly and without judgment. Although Kara couldn't articulate this dynamic into words, she felt it.

It made her feel safe.

So of her own accord, Kara called Laura over during her bath and invited her to wash her hair. Laura's hands were soothing, her voice reassuring. She chatted to her constantly throughout the process. For Kara, the hardest part was having to close her eyes, but Laura seemed to understand that.

"If you want to keep your eyes open, honey, just tip your head back some more," instructed Laura. Kara obeyed and Laura placed a hand against her forehead, carefully shielding her from soap and from the fine misty spray of water, while she carefully rinsed her hair.

"Good girl," said Laura.

The praise warmed Kara. She wanted so much to believe it. Laura seemed to - so wholeheartedly. Kara found it difficult to doubt such a genuinely offered statement of faith in her essential goodness and she allowed herself to believe it, too, even if just for a moment.

By the time they got to the blow drying and the brushing, Kara's eyes closed a few times as she simply enjoyed the feel of Laura's hands running through her hair and the soft cadence of her voice as she continued to talk to her while she worked.

When Laura finished, she gently rested her chin against Kara's shoulder and Kara gazed at their dual reflection in the mirror, at Laura with her vivid red hair and at herself with her pale blonde strands. Their hair color might be different but their smiles matched.

"We have time for one story before it's time to go to sleep," said Laura as she walked with Kara into her bedroom and turned the lamp on by the bed. "Unless you're too tired."

"A story," said Kara as she hopped into bed and stifled a yawn.

"I was hoping you'd say that," answered Laura as she sat down on the chair beside Kara's bed. She helped Kara pull the sheets and blankets over her small body, smoothing the top quilt and tucking her in. It made Kara feel the way that it had made her feel every night since Laura had first done it. Cozy. Loved.

Kara never did make it through the entire story. When sleep came, it was berry-scented and peaceful and filled with the promise of good dreams.


End file.
